Hello my name is Courtney and I am a Recovering Alcoholic!
I wanted to share a little more of about my history and what my rock bottom was for anyone who is new that is reading my blog. I have been sober now for 4 years and 5 months. I LOVED alcohol, like it was my bestie for over a decade. My vicious cycle of addiction was spent for over ten years feeling ashamed, embarrassed, lonely, isolated and scared but I kept staying in this world. For so many years I didn’t feel like I deserved any good. Most days depending on my work schedules were spent thinking about drinking, drinking or dry heaving, laying in bed all day until I ordered pizza at 8pm when I finally stopped throwing up all the alcohol from the night before. I mean this cycle happened weekly, alcohol poising for sure! Of course I would say to myself every time I would dry heave that “be the last time I did shots or drank like that”…LIES! I often find when I woke up the night before I had no clue how I got home or what happened. About ninety percent of the time my drinking would end up with me upsetting one of my friends, boyfriends or family members. I often would yell at them, pick fights and get violent like a real pig. So many missed opportunities and relationships down the drain because of my addiction. So much TIME WASTED and moments I will never get back in my life. Funny thing is since I was about 24 years I knew I would have to stop drinking one day. In the pit of my soul I believe that all addicts know they have a problem of some sort its just a matter of “are you going to address the problem” or just carrying on because you don’t want to feel or face reality?!!
When I was 29 years old, I woke up the next morning from a complete shit show of an evening. I was told I lost my cat(who was not an outside cat at all) for the second time as I left my screen door wide open because I went outside to smoke in a blackout. I was also told by my then boyfriend that he was over the drinking as we at that point we had been together for a year and a half. He had seen plenty in such a short amount of time because I will say the last couple of years of my drinking my episodes were getting worse and worse. So that day I made a pact to myself and the universe that if Fiona(my cat) was found I would give up drinking and give life a go sober as I knew I had to do since I was in my early twenties. For two days I laid around from the worst hangover in my life, like straight up death! I surprised I didn’t need medical attention. So every few hours I would go outside shaking Fiona’s treats and calling her name, finally FURPANTS came walking out slowly from under my neighbors deck looking terrified and leaves all over her fur and in her whiskers. I dropped to my knees like a scene from a movie and scooped her up and instantly starting crying. I felt in my whole being and on another level that sobriety was my answer this was 1 million percent my rock bottom. I probably hit RB about 40 times previous to this but this time it was the last bottom I would face.
My life began on August 18th, 2012! That boyfriend who said enough was enough is now my husband. He even gave up drinking with me, he never had a problem but just got to a point in his life he could do without. Sober Life has not been easy, a lot of emotions a lot of ups and downs buts its all worth it. I honestly wouldn’t change a thing of how my life has become. My world is just better with friends, family, husband, myself and everything else. I even have my own health and fitness business! That would of never have happened if I continued to drink, I probably be dead if I would of kept in my active addiction and I know that in my heart and soul! Looking forward to bringing more insight to the world about addiction and wellness.
Hello my name is Courtney and RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE!!!