Let it Go!

Couldn’t agree MORE!! 

This past weekend has been a happy but emotional one for me celebrating my 5 year. When you celebrate this type of milestone it seems surreal because YOU are the only one who knows the true struggle you had in days of addiction and in recovery. Yes, recovery can be a struggle but the bad days in recovery will ALWAYS win over the best days in addiction because they were really not all that great or few and far between.. I will never be cured of this disease cause yes it is a disease y’all. I still have days 5 years into this where the thought of drinking comes to my mind and how good it would feel to be drunk..truth! I have to let that thought come to mind feel it and then shake it off and not live in that addiction demon. I didn’t say to myself one day “man, I’m going to become an alcoholic today and do the following…ruin relationships, spend nights in jail, spend nights in hospitals because of drunken induced accidents, destroy my body, wake up next to someone not knowing their name, missed milestone moments in friends/family lives, go into a tail spin of debt, do drugs that you always said you wouldn’t do, shame/guilt spiral, lose jobs, missed opportunities and spend a decade of my life in this vicious cycle cause this all sounds like a good time!” My sober life is my life now and I know turning back to the bottle will never solve anything and will just bring more bad then good but at some point if you want a better life you really have to make the CHOICE TO STOP..I did and if I can, so can you!!

 My bestie was alcohol and that best friend of mine at one point of my life would of eventually killed me down the road. Let it go, get the help and know that YOU are WORTH IT!💯💜🚫🥃🌿✌🏻👱🏻‍♀️

Advertisements

Happy 5th Birthday!!

My favorite day of the year is here!! I love this day more then my birthday, the Oscars, Sundays or any major holiday. Im 5 today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 I made the decision to stop the madness on 8/18/12  and make a choice to live a life of love, light and freedom five years ago today. Which is exactly the opposite of what I was living for a decade of my active addiction with alcohol. I still allow myself to feel that morning cause that is a place I never wish to go back to. Was it a scary thought to think of a life without the booze?? YES, of course!! It took me two years to settle fully in my sober life and feel comfortable in my own skin. I had to relearn how to live again, relearn how to cope and just be without booze. Thru these years and the process of recovery I have learned, I’m much stronger then I ever thought, the world is truly my oyster and I am extremely powerless over alcohol and that is OK!! Doesn’t make me a freak show or less then anyone. The heavy burden that was once in my daily life blocking me from the life I knew I wanted and deserved is no longer there and I’m living that life I once dreamed of being free from shame, guilt, darkness and despair. When I’m asked how have I stayed sober, the answer is simple, I don’t want to die. My addiction is a matter of life and death and I will always choose life!! If I pick up the bottle again, good night sweet prince…it’s true y’all. The Recovery road is not an EASY one, you really do have to put the work in daily but as time goes on it gets easier and becomes just a way of life. I do promise you with all my heart and soul, that recovery is WORTH IT and for anyone who is struggling reach out for help there is always someone there for you. I’m HERE always. Recovery is a WE thing, I wouldn’t be here today without the love and support from my husband, family and friends!! To the Recovery community, I just adore and love you all. So much strength, beauty and talents come out of sobriety/recovery. You all are such an inspiration to me, so thank you to ALL!! 

Sober is the new everything, take it one day at a time and always know that WE DO RECOVER!!!!💯💜😭🚫🥃 #celebraterecovery