This is what my active addiction looked liked.

When people tell you drugs and alcohol aren’t cool, believe them. Lots of cocaine and heavy nightly drinking during these years of my active addiction. I thought I was cool but I actually wasn’t. The best part about this picture is in fact around this time of my life I knew in the pit of my soul that one day I would be sober, I knew it was the alcohol that lead me to drugs and this depressing, lonely, chaotic, shameful life i was living. I knew I didn’t want to keep on this ride anymore but at the time I didn’t know how to get off. It would only take about another 4-5 years later of having a 100th rock bottom for me finally to say fucking enough already. Thank the universe I did, I won’t say I wish i did it early because things happen how they are suppose to. But I will say I am a lucky one to have escaped what addiction ultimately does to a person and that is death. It’s not dramatic, it’s true. Addiction is life or death! I wake up every day and choose life, it was a hard fight for the first few years but you slowly ease into the life you should be living because trust when I say, no one deserves to live in addiction. With choosing recovery the door of opportunities opened to me for life, love, friendships, business and just the world. It can for you too, I promise but you have to stick with it even on the days you feel like you can’t breathe.

Recovering out loud since 8/18/12 If you need help and are ready, reach out!!




2 thoughts on “Throwback

  1. Amazing, I look back at photos of myself in the last year of my drinking and I look as if I’m full of confidence and having the time of my life…I was actually dying inside. Grateful today, S x

    Liked by 1 person

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