I would of been Bridezilla..

I got married 3 years and 2-ish months Sober and this day was amazing and more.

I always hear women say their wedding was the best day of their life. Mine wasn’t(god bless brides who love this shit but wedding planning and all that went with it made my right eye twitch for months) I mean, it was an amazing day and weekend in Savannah and I’m thrilled to be Mrs. Andersen! However, the best day of my life was the day I finally said enough was enough to the madness of my cycle of addiction with alcohol..8•18•12

I had many people ask me if I was going to toast with champagne at my wedding to you know, celebrate! Toasting with a cola or a mocktail works just as well.

I had to keep reminding them of what would happen to me if I did drink.. I lose it all and would define the word BRIDEZILLA!! That is what many don’t understand, drinking is a fucking death sentence to people who are alcoholics. So one sip leads to a downward spiral of shame, numbness, isolation, guilt, fucked up behavior, blackouts, sleeping with people you have zero clue who their names are, waking up in jail, waking up in a hospital bed and the list goes on!

Why must we always celebrate with alcohol?? That is the fucked up way we are programmed to think because the booze is in our society and here to stay. I’ve made peace with that but have you accepted the fact that alcohol destroys people’s lives just as much as it helps?? Again, this is for people who have problems with alcohol not those who don’t. I don’t judge people who drink cause that is not my place but why do I get more questions asked of why I don’t drink?

Just changing the conversation y’all one post at a time.

I just really love this picture, that dress, those flowers, that day, that town, the people who made the day possible, our family, our friends and those CLEAR, VIVID memories that will live on forever in my mind and heart.

Don’t ever give up for any occasion!!

Xoxo,

CMA

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Real Aligned Women

Hi friends, I wanted to share with you about my lack of writing words for my blog. I have started to shift my focus on another project with helping women in Recovery along with starting a PODCAST! I will still blog, just won’t be all the time. I really love podcasting and super excited about this form of expression.

I wanted to share this hear so for anyone who does follow this blog and is not connected with me on my social media platforms, you have this opportunity to know about it.

Two recovering alcoholics meet on instagram over 3 years ago, form a friendship, support one another, share their love of all things wellness, BRAVO, helping others and then form this RAW partnership.

My friend Lori and I, Recovery membership site is going awesome with being able to help and support women in recovery and even women you are still in active addiction wanting to get sober. We also launched our RAW podcast over a month ago and we are loving the amazing love and support we are receiving.

Check out some reviews, it brings such joy to us to hear from the ladies we are walking along with them on their journey.

Our Sober sisterhood site is called RAW which means Real Aligned Women. Our mission.. Women united through recovery and wellness to live a healthy kickass life on their terms; no apology needed. Each month we host 2 coaching calls, 1 special guest call, all things recovery, wellness, mindfulness and any help you need.

Please feel free to comment or email me if there are any topics you want us to talk about on our podcast.

We don’t hold back, wether you agree or not we discuss the topic.

LINK IS below, to listen to our podcast or visit our community..Use “soberholiday” code at checkout to receive 20% off your first month.

Beautiful friendships and opportunities come out of recovery and we are so grateful for all of your support.

That is my partner above and her incredible transformation of 5 years sober!!

We do recover, so don’t ever let anyone tell you differently!!

http://www.realalignedwomen.com

Xoxox,

CMA

Feel the Feels.

Once you quit, things just don’t get better over night.

It’s a process, you have to do the work(whichever type is right for you) on yourself and trust the process of getting very uncomfortable with feelings. For so long we were afraid of feelings. They are not the end of the world.

Feelings are emotionally energy, not personality traits!! You may be stuck in a feeling for some time, I know when I got sober I was sad for the first year with some angry rage in there. I mean I was a dick but that’s all part of the process…you are grieving.

In a matter of 6 weeks I quit drinking, lost my sweet Jerry and then quit smoking for her. Yes for her, if I didn’t make that promise to her I would still be smoking cigs today. For reals. That was a lot to lose at once and for some reading this you may think, what’s the big deal? But alcohol and cigs were my bestie, I was addicted to them and they were a shield of protection for me. That’s the story I created in my head with them because I did not develop proper coping tools as my life evolved.

So today if you are in your feels, process them for however long you need to and move on at your own time. Not the time someone else is telling you to go out. Recovery is not a destination it’s a journey of one at YOUR OWN PACE!!

Xoxo,

CMA

I was a mess.

Funny thing about addiction.. it does not discriminate. Lots of people have told me when I tell them I’m a recovering alcoholic that they would of never guessed. White female, grew up middle class, well traveled and educated and I was a mess.

I know there are lots of people who question their relationship with alcohol. If you are questioning that, there mostly likely is. But that is not up for me to decide for you.

Even though I was not a daily drinker, I binged. I could go days without it but man oh man once it touched my lips..goodnight sweet Irene. I would be on a mission to get drunk AF for days and wouldn’t stop. I will say and want to make this loud to the world, you don’t have to drink every day to be an alcoholic. This is a HUGE stigma.

My life revolved around drinking. My fun revolved drinking. My relationships revolved around drinking. Drinking. Drinking. Drinking. It controlled me but the physical act of drinking again was not everyday. Fucking exhausting. You have to decide what’s best for you and how you identify yourself with whatever label you want.

I identify with sober, recovering alcoholic, pig(this is more of a joke), a women in recovery and I’m allergic to alcohol cause all of this is TRUE.

Coming upon pictures of me in blackouts now, I just give myself a giggle with a touch of thank god I stopped the madness when I did because I would probably be dead now. I hope for all you are in early recovery or active addiction get to this point of seeing the beautiful life you have.

Xoxo,

CMA

Hangover Free Birthday!

Took some time off my blog but I’m back!!

I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing it is waking up on and the day after your Birthday with ZERO hangover in sight! TO me this is part of the freedom train of recovery and choosing to live a life of sobriety.

For years in my addiction I spent legit every Birthday waking up on October 5th and the day after feeling like death. Ashamed of my actions, anxiety so bad I felt like I was going to die and the voice inside me that always said, “this year I’m going to control my drinking and not be such a pig!”

Does this sound familiar to anyone?

It took me a few Birthday’s in recovery to mourn the loss of what my old Birthday’s were and realize how going forward they would look.  It’s been a good different, one without booze and ones that I control with whatever I feel like doing! To me that is the greatest gift I could give myself, year after year!

It’s hard to believe some days that I have spent ALL of my thirties Sober, 6 straight Birthdays of this beautiful life. You may be reading this and thinking “can I do this?” The answer is YES, yes you can.

Xoxo,

CMA

Podcast

A few weeks ago I totally stepped outside of my comfort zone and was asked by my sweet friend Lori to be on her podcast!! She is the cats meow and I just adore her. We met thru the Instagram recovery world and I’m so happy our worlds collided cause she is the best. Link is below! Wanted to share on my blog for those who follow here but not on my social media. Would love to hear your feedback.

Podcast Tuesday! How I LOVE this girl. If you don’t know Courtney, she is the founder of @sober.vibes and she is a recovery champion! In this episode we talk health and fitness, the night and event that happened to lead Courtney to getting sober, how she feels about her her coaching business and personal development, #the5secondrule, ending emotional eating, paying off debt, @daveramsey, and reality t.v. Courtney is honest, open, and shares her story in the most authentic way to help others and to let us all know #wearenotalone. I’m proud of her and SO thankful for her friendship and suppprt over the past few years. Thank you for listening & if you do please tag @sober.vibes and share the episode. #podcast #to50andbeyond #soberlife

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/to-50-beyond-wellness-self-help-coach-lifestyle/id1345136168?mt=2

Sober in Mexico

Sober in Mexico!

I had some anxiety doing this trip solo, as in not having my husband with me or a sober pal. Last time i was in Mexico I had all the tequila and mind erasers in the world. I didn’t know how sober Mexico would look with just me being around people who did part take in drinking. Not everyone who drinks has a problem and I made a decision 2 years into my recovery I wasn’t going to FEAR alcohol anymore. Yes, tons of uncomfortable feelings pushing thru a fear but it has to be done if you want the life you had imagined for yourself. Traveling for me is on top of that list. If i continue to fear booze, my circle and life would be very, very small. I want to see and live the world and alcohol is everywhere. There is no escaping it. I’m grateful for the friends in my life who do participate in drinking that always make sure I’m comfortable and ok! Love the ladies I’m with on this trip and appreciate the vibes

Again, you have to be ready with whatever situation you push yourself thru but let me tell you once you do it’s the most empowering thing ever!! Sober me is having a time here btw…. Sober As Fuck since 8/18/12

Xoxo,

CMA

Throwback

This is what my active addiction looked liked.

When people tell you drugs and alcohol aren’t cool, believe them. Lots of cocaine and heavy nightly drinking during these years of my active addiction. I thought I was cool but I actually wasn’t. The best part about this picture is in fact around this time of my life I knew in the pit of my soul that one day I would be sober, I knew it was the alcohol that lead me to drugs and this depressing, lonely, chaotic, shameful life i was living. I knew I didn’t want to keep on this ride anymore but at the time I didn’t know how to get off. It would only take about another 4-5 years later of having a 100th rock bottom for me finally to say fucking enough already. Thank the universe I did, I won’t say I wish i did it early because things happen how they are suppose to. But I will say I am a lucky one to have escaped what addiction ultimately does to a person and that is death. It’s not dramatic, it’s true. Addiction is life or death! I wake up every day and choose life, it was a hard fight for the first few years but you slowly ease into the life you should be living because trust when I say, no one deserves to live in addiction. With choosing recovery the door of opportunities opened to me for life, love, friendships, business and just the world. It can for you too, I promise but you have to stick with it even on the days you feel like you can’t breathe.

Recovering out loud since 8/18/12 If you need help and are ready, reach out!!

Xoxo,

CMA

Keep Fighting!

Would I like to go back to this young lady in the picture below and tell her to stop drinking at this time before it all got so dark. Of course but going back wouldn’t have changed a thing.

I wouldn’t have listened and most likely told myself to “fuck off and that I was, followed by I’m not hurting anyone” which was not the case. I hurt family, friends, opportunities but most of all I hurt myself in my active addiction. That’s something you truly don’t see until you have some clarity. Clarity is a hell of a drug!! I wouldn’t change a thing and chose a life of recovery at the time I WAS suppose to. I was ready, my soul was ready for the big scary life of the unknown…My unknown was a life without alcohol. If

you are struggling and your ready take the step of choosing a sober life today. Its not easy, some days are HARD AF(I just had one on Friday, 5.5 years in) but man oh man it’s worth it! Keep fighting the good fight to any who are struggling in recovery, it truly is the fight of your life!

Xoxo,

CMA

2,000 Days!

2,000 days since I had my last drink..who would of thought??

I don’t ever count days anymore but think about how many day’s that is?!?! Is wild!! I knew in my soul there would be a day I was going to live a life without alcohol. I just didn’t know, when or how I was going to get there. I eventually did get to that point and on that day on 8/18/12 I finally chose a different route then the one I was on for the previous decade. Has Recovery been easy..absolutely not! Some days it’s the pits but other days your like Fuck yes, I own this shit… I see you Recovery and I got this!! It won’t be easy, it will not be perfect, you may(you for sure will and that’s ok) eat a lot of sugar those first few years and question everything but I promise you it’s all worth it.

Sobriety has brought me peace within my self and a life I’m beyond grateful for because I make the daily choice to wake up another day sober.

Xoxo,

CMA